My Son, Son of a Stroke Victim

I'm out of things to blog about. Any suggestions? What do YOU wanna know from a new mom? I promise I'll be honest...and usually pretty frank. :)

I'm not sure I ever blogged about my first night home from the hospital. It wasn't funny at the time, but looking back now, it's quite comical (to me, at least).

Remember how Drew had been circumsized and hadn't peed in 30-some-odd-hours? They were going to cath him. Remember all that? Well, on a new mom with fluctuating hormones, and 3 hours of sleep in 2 days, it made for quite an emotional rollercoaster. I know I was probably labeled "the crazy mother" by the nursing staff. I was out of control crying and almost yelling, wondering what was wrong with my new baby boy. Anyway, you get the picture.

When that tired mother finally got home, all I could think about was sleep. Around 10pm I gave Drew to Andrew and my sister. He'd just been fed, and I told them I was headed to the bed to get a little nap. They were to wake me up when he was ready to eat again. I left the lamp on in my bedroom. No light was going to stop me from sleeping. Heck, a train running through my backyard probably wouldn't have made a difference that night. People, I've been tired, but I was truly EXHAUSTED on this night.

Around 11:45 I remember hearing the words, "Audra, he's hungry." It was my sister. She and Andrew were standing at the side of the bed holding a child. It took them telling me several times before I flung back the covers and snatched him out of their arms. My sister thought I was mad at them for waking me. I looked at the baby. "How am I supposed to feed and nourish ALL these children by myself?!" I thought angrily to myself. Here I was about to have to feed this baby, a son of a stroke victim.

Yes, that's right. I thought I was a human milk factory, literally. I thought my own precious child was the son of a male stroke victim. And I thought I alone was responsible for feeding him and others abandoned by their parents. I marched to the living room rocking chair and plopped down to feed the strange child.

I remember looking at him and thinking he looked so familiar, but I wasn't able to place where I'd seen him before. All of a sudden it hit me. This is MY baby! Oh yeah...I was pregnant and delivered this week! Then, moments later, I remember looking at him and forgetting who he was again! It took me a good 30 minutes to become fully awake enough to feed my child without getting angry at its imaginary parents for making me nourish their child!

Before that night, I thought I'd experienced exhaustion. Now I KNOW what it feels like.