Drew's Modest Christmas List

Everyone keeps asking what Drew wants for Christmas, so I sat down and asked him. He proposed that he write a letter to Santa, to request the items he most desires. I wish I could just scan it in because he wrote in beautiful calligraphy. It was really something to behold.
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Dear Santa,

It seems around my house there are a lot of things termed "no no," but I was thinking if you gave me my own "no no" items, they wouldn't be off limits anymore. Genius idea, huh? Here's what I've been thinking:

-My own set of blinds with blind cords that I can open and close 'til my heart's content. Oh and not the skinny $28 set from Lowes. I want you to custom order me the $200 set. Those are the ones I really like. For some reason, mom and dad hate for me to play with those. Stingy parents.

-A table I can climb on. Mom and Dad say it needs padding around the edges so my constantly bruised head will go away.

-A dryer I can operate myself.

-My own hairdryer. Mom said I broke her last one and won't let me use this one. Mean lady.

-My own bathroom toiletries, complete with screw on caps that I can play with all day long.

-A jacuzzi faucet that I can sit and turn off and on. Mom requests no hot water hooked up to it since that's why I can't play with hers.

-A door that opens and closes easily, but doesn't mash my fingers. All the old people freak out when I play with doors, so the non-smashing kind would save them a lot of headaches.

-Shoes I can get off easier. Socks too.

-A stinkin' adult sized Christmas tree that I can do WHATEVER I want with. Maybe I should move this to the top of my list...

-A set of stairs that will catch me if I fall. (Okay, mom asked me to put that in. Seeing as how I'm nice and all, I did it...)

-An oven drawer I can open and climb all over without getting in trouble.

-My own fireplace with doors. Can we put a chair inside? It's my favorite quiet spot. Maybe some reading material? I like the touchy-feely kind, in case you were wondering.

-My own fridge to climb in and pull everything out of.

-For heaven's sakes, a dishwasher that I can load and unload with random items and turn on to hear the cool noise!

Well, that's about it, I guess. I don't think it's asking too much since Mommy always says what a sweet boy I am. Oh those temper tantrums? I'll try to tone those down a bit if you can work on some of these things for me. Mommy says we might need to add on to the house if you bring me all this stuff, so maybe a fat gift card to Lowe's as well.

Thanks, Santa! You're the best!

Love,
Drew