Tuesday, May 20, 2008

What Men Know About Pregnancy




10. I'll have to make 3am food runs in my pajamas in the freezing cold.

9. More cleaning for me? You could reach the bottom of that shower if you WANTED to!

8. I have to give up all my pillows so she can support her back...and her stomach...and her legs. Before this is over, I'll be sleeping with a couch cushion.

7. My wife finally eats more than I do in one sitting.

6. If I don't eat all the cookies I want when they're first cooked, forget it. They'll be gone the next time I get home.

5. Seriously, buy MORE clothes? What do you mean you outgrew all 5 new shirts in 2 weeks?! It's probably those cookies of mine you keep stealing.

4. How many more baby items do I have to put together? Does it mean I get new tools?

3. If she gets up to pee during the night or grunts as she rolls over and wakes me once more, I'm calling in sick...sick of pregnancy.

2. All body parts get bigger with pregnancy. This is good for some body parts, bad for others. (Hey, I'm just being honest!)

1. And the number one thing men SAY about pregnancy, "Honey, you really should be putting on that cocoa butter lotion. I hear it prevents stretch marks!" Honestly, I've had so many men (including my husband!) tell me this. Should that scare me?

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