Aspiration: Experienced Seamstress...or just using a needle without needing stitches

I really should have paid better attention in home economics back in junior high (yes, Missouri actually taught home ec to their 8th graders--it was fabulous!). It would have been MORE fabulous if I had realized I actually might need to sew a button on some pants one day. I am so needle-and-thread challenged, y'all. If I can finally get a needle threaded (took me at least 8 minutes tonight), I end up bleeding from 15 different pokes in just one finger. I need to wear 9 thimbles or invest in bandaids.

So sometimes this creative bone in me flares up, urging me to break out of my little comfort zone. (Using a needle & thread is breaking out of the zone for me.) So now I have this urge to applique some kind of onesie or shirt. The tutorial looks easy enough, but it does require a sewing machine or manual sewing. Definitely gonna forego the latter since it wouldn't even be wearable. I'm thinking maybe I'll get my mother in law to help me this weekend. She could sew anything!

Here's my list of things I'd like to "one day" make: (each project is linked)
1. Appliqued shirt
2. Apron
3. Modern Quilt (yeah, I'm a LONG way from here)
4. Felt food (for that future girl in my life!)
5. Pillowcase

So there you have it! Maybe by the time I'm knocking at death's door, I will have accomplished at least 4 of these....I'm not really holding out for the advanced quiltmaking. Eh, I can dream, right?

If I attempt the appliqued onesie this weekend, I WILL post my progress (ie, either brag til you're tired of hearing about it or put in my resignation for domestic goddess).