1. My job as a parent is basically damage control.
2. My house is never clean longer than naptime.
3. I don't waste naptime cleaning anyway.
4. Noise, however headache enducing, is confirmation of play. Quiet is never good.
5. I no longer explain to guests why the toilet paper is loosely rerolled onto the tube.
6. The toilet bowl is like the golden standard of toys.
7. "See-food" is the daily special around here.
8. I didn't need the cover of that magazine anyway.
9. How is it that his shoes cost more than mine and they're a 10th of the size?!
10. The wet ponytail bump is "in." Someone let Stacy and Clinton know.