Post Children Fashion Rules

I was at the store the other day during nap time, trying to hurriedly find an item worthy of my Kohl's bucks. After searching through every department and coming up empty handed, I spotted the perfect pair of boots in the shoe department. They were adorable, my size, and the exact color I wanted. How lucky can a girl get? I pictured myself cruising the mall, the movies, and restaurants with these cute boots on.

As I headed to the register, boots in hand, I thought, "Wait a minute. When am I actually going to have a chance to wear these boots to the mall, movies, or restaurant?! I haven't been to a real mall in ages, and I've been to one movie in a year and a half; eating at a restaurant usually means Drew's chewed up and spit out food ends up on my feet!"

Motherhood surely takes its toll on our fashion choices. Post baby, it seems there are different times that affect how we don our bodies. During breastfeeding days you must choose wisely: button downs and flowy shirts are good; one piece dresses and tighter fitting shirts are bad...very bad. Then you must consider matching your hooter hider material to whatever you're wearing that day. If you're pumping at work, you must choose clothing that comes off and goes back on easily...and is not too prone to wrinkling if you must hold that article of clothing between your knees as you pump in a public bathroom.

Then take the kids' runny nose days; you'd best wear something green so the nasal output blends in. Oh and just forget anything white or that says "Dry Clean Only." It's a waste of your time and money! And let's not mention jewelry choices post baby: namely small and nondangly...and indestructible to little hands.

So Clinton and Stacy, as you continue dishing out advice to mothers around the world to look cute and stylish while heading to the grocery store with kids-in-tow, just remember all the rules those mothers are having to abide by. And they're probably just lucky they got a shower and dry hair that day. Much less 3 inch heels and a matching cardigan.

Oh and just for kicks, I got the shoes. I decided I could wear them while I electronically, socially network with you all.