You Know You're Nearing the End When...

1. You can't reach your toenails without hiking your leg up as high as it will go, holding your breath, and sloppily throwing some paint on your nails before you run out of air.

2. Your toenails just stay chipped and ugly because the effort isn't worth it.

3. You constantly wonder if you might go into labor soon so you keep your legs "shaven" just in case. And by "shaven" I mean the prickles are still there; you just can't see the leg hair from 3 feet away.

4. You have anxiety attacks over the nursery that isn't nearly finished. Then again, that might just be me.

5. You attempt to keep your house looking half way decent at all times in case labor occurs sooner rather than later. This way you won't be running around leaking amniotic fluid, vacuuming your floors for your great grandmother's sake.

6. You yearn to bend over to pick something up instead of squatting and grunting.

7. You avoid getting in the floor. You might not be able to get back up without a piece of lifting machinery.

8. Turning over in bed is a feat, sometimes requiring assistance.

9. You thank God for your feet and toes every day. Without them, a lot of stuff would get left in the floor.

10. You put on your maternity shirt and it rips from tightness.

Closing in on 36 weeks.....