I miss my blog. I spent over an hour tonight reading over a friend's blog and realizing how much I miss jotting down all of our little tidbits occurring in our every day life. I think one holdback is that whenever I sit down to write, all my instincts take over to write a novel instead of a blogpost. I'm sure you've noticed I'm not shortwinded. And I'm not in real life either. (It's more acceptable though in the written form since excess wording can be easily skimmed over.) See, I'm doing it again! ;)
So let's make it short and sweet. To the point.
This pregnancy is SO different than the last three. My previous pregnancies included indigestion that would keep me down-and-out and nausea that required me to eat the only food that sounded good every hour, on the hour.
Not so this go-around! I feel tired a lot. Not sleepy usually. Just tired. I do have bouts of nausea, but only need to eat every 3 hours or so to keep it at bay. My food cravings aren't extreme and I only have one aversion--Mexican food, sadly. The husband is quite bummed about that!
We went to our new doctor's office last Tuesday and was told we were only 7 weeks, 3 days along (we thought we were 9 weeks + a few days), but that everything was looking wonderful in there. Our due date is June 15, 2013. Baby had a strong heartbeat of 157, and that whew-whew-whew-whew of his/her little heartbeat made me smile down deep in my soul. I really thought I would cry when I heard it, but my soul was just filled with contentment and peace in that moment. A closed-eyed smile was exactly what my heart mustered out.
I do still wonder at times if I'll hold and cradle this precious life inside me. You can't help but wonder, after losing a baby, if the one growing within you will produce cries on its day of birth that will forever be stamped in your mama memory. Maybe Satan is wanting to steal that joy of expectation. Maybe that's my subconscious just trying to protect me by saying, "Careful. Don't get too attached." And that's so strange because that's not ME. I am a dive-in-with-all-your-heart-and-emotions type girl. I'm a give-yourself-completely-and-trust kinda woman. But I'm covering my emotions with grace. They're not wrong. They just feel different than what my instinctively produced emotions normally do. And they have good reasons to be. And underneath those emotions is a peace that reigns supreme in Jesus. And that's what really matters.
Anyway....We are so excited to be a family of five! Drew talks about the baby frequently and Hannah believes there might be a baby in her little belly. Precious kids. I am eating up being their mama these days. We have stepped back from several things recently (not all because we wanted to, but felt led to) and have really been able to spend time just being a family who loves the Lord. I love that. Drew has been flourishing and his attitude and behavior reflects it. Hannah is growing and learning so much every day. She amazes me with her new knowledge! She has a 2 year old post all of her own coming up FAR TOO SOON!
The husband's snores are luring me to the bedroom. Gonna go catch a few hours of sleep before my sweet 4 year old boy wakes me in the morning with his cold feet and snuggles. :)