Monday, June 8, 2009

Who's the Parent?

Stepping out of the house into any public shopping center pretty much guarantees you'll get to witness a piece of parental stupidity. A crying meltdown from a child will often accompany the parent's stupidity. And if you're really unfortunate, as I was tonight, you'll get to hear the meltdown for an entire 15 minutes--across the store.

As I was perusing the deodorant (I always want to spell deodErant--and it just hit me that it has the word ODOR in it. Wow. Light bulb moment.)....anyway....As I was perusing the deodOrant, trying to pick between powder fresh and shower clean, I heard this annoying little boy whining, "Mooooommmmmyyyy, I want thiiiiiiss! Moooommmyyy!! I WANT THIS!!!" Go back and read that about 56 more times. I'll wait.

Finished? That's what it sounded like. It got louder. And louder. I felt the said child getting closer. I looked at the aisle next to me. There was the heathen himself, standing there with some very large crayola rainbow set, reminding his mom, once more, that he wanted "thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!" He pulled on her skirt and hit her leg to further remind her that he was standing there. As if she could forget.

She could not have cared less. Not about him, that crayloa thing, and certainly not the rest of us listening to his screaming tantrum. Even the pharmacist was staring.

Spoiled Brat and Enabling Mother continued on their journey towards the checkout. "Thank goodness," I thought. "Moooommmmmy!!!! Get this for meeee!!!!" continued in the background.

Then the meltdown occured. Right there in the middle of the aisle. I couldn't help myself. I peeked my head around the corner to see him standing there in the middle of the aisle stomping his little 5 year old feet, toyless. Bless his heart. (Sarcasm....)

It got quiet. I looked out again. Here he came with that toy in his hand. He'd gone and gotten it back. He followed after his mom. But what? No more screaming. They had exited. The entire store clapped.

Just kidding- but we wanted to.

Lo and behold, as I was checking out, here came Enabling Mom and Heathen Child BACK into the store, and they got in line right behind me. I was putting my bags in my cart as the mom was talking to the cashier.

"I just got out to the car with him and realized he'd brought this toy out there on his own and we didn't even pay for it! So I asked him, "Where in the **************** did you get that?!" So here we are getting it! If he wants it, he gets it. That's just kinda how it goes!" she said, as she politely laughed.

My eyes were about to pop out of my head. Heathen child just stood there with wet eyelashes, a cocked head, and a smirk on his face. The look of accomplishment. He got exactly what he wanted.

The cashier and I had the same thoughts. My eyes were as big as saucers. It took every ounce of self discipline in me not to pull that lady to the side and wear her behind out!! Honestly?! That toy was almost as big as he was. How did he get it clear across the parking lot without you seeing it?! She had another adult with her. Who was watching him? Argh....

Let's hope the kid doesn't ask for a car next week.

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