Wearing the shoes of a "mommy" can sometimes be difficult. But it's literally more difficult when the shoes come off. There are days when you run over my feet with your car, slam your ride-on toy into my heel, trip over me, step on me, drop things on my toes, and pinch me. Some days you are as hardheaded as they come: you fight me for meals, discipline, and diaper changes. Mommyhood is not for the lighthearted.
I can usually see where you've been by the constant trail of mess left behind. You resemble a mini tornado in whatever room you have entered. You are not easily occupied for long--2 minutes per activity--max. You pick stuff out of the trash, pull stuff through locked cabinet doors, empty full laundry baskets onto the floor, climb onto whatever you can, turn on the bathtub faucets, and shove toilet paper down the toilet if given an accidental opportunity. Like I said--little tornado, you are. *Sigh* Mommyhood is not for the lighthearted.
You are not usually grateful for your food. Most of it ends up half chewed and then handed to me or thrown in the floor. Your repertoire of favorite foods is slim, and you're extremely picky about trying anything new. (Hey, you got something from me!) My favorite part of your mealtime is when it's over because it's usually a big fat mess. Then we get to clean up the floor around your high chair for the fourth time in a day. *Sigh* Mommyhood is not for the lighthearted...
So, riddle me this: how with all of this stuff that I've listed which can leave me with acne, bald spots, and a desire to binge eat, do I love you with every cell in my being? Huh? Does that make any sense?! But somehow it is true. Because tonight I was SO ready to throw you in your bed as fast as I could get you there. Then after we sat down in the rocking chair and turned the lights off, you laid your head on my chest and said, "Nigh, nigh" to me. I honestly teared up because my little baby from a year ago is now a little boy. Your once soft feet are now becoming calloused from running without shoes outside. Your little nails have black specks underneath them from digging in the dirt. What was once a bald head is now needing an umpteenth haircut. Those once tiny hands now hold mine for our night time prayer together.
There is something about being your mother that makes me love you no matter what comes our way in a day's time. Something crazy makes me crave your sweet smile and touch just an hour after you've been asleep at night, and I'm still worn plum out. I'm not sure there are words enough to describe how strange that is--but so true! If, at the end of a long evening, I deem it a "bad" day, it's still a good day because I got to be your mom. Wearing that title makes me so proud, no matter the expense.
You and I are learning together; sometimes I think you're teaching me more than I'm teaching you! While you're learning verbal skills, gross motor skills, and fine motor skills, I'm learning patience, persistence, & the power of prayer. I'm glad I'm on this journey with you, even though it's not easy some days! So I'll continue to let you run barefoot and callous up those adorable, chubby feet, and I'll wear the most supportive shoes I own to endure your playtime madness! I love you, little one! This is a fun, learning adventure that, even on our worst days, I'm proud to be on with you!