One reason I believe outsiders believe Christians are hypocritical and snotty are because we are not transparent enough (and possibly because we're hypocritical and snotty at times when we should be understanding and humble!). So in case any of you have ever for a second believed from my writings that I think I have it all together, let me sum it up for you:
YOU. ARE. WRONG.
It is at the end of days like today that I'm thankful that God is merciful and will fill in the gaps where I've so horribly messed up. Do you have days like that? Weeks like that?
Today was one of those days where I questioned my entire mothering ideas. Am I disciplining right? Why is he not getting it? Am I too lenient? Too harsh? Am I conveying God's love and desire for obedience to change his heart? Am I screwing up this whole thing?! Does God realize that I'm not equipped for this job?!
*sigh* And then I feel the Holy Spirit. (I'm so thankful God gave us the holy spirit--can I get an amen?!) I feel him reassure me that consistency is key. That he WILL get it one day. That my efforts are not in vain. And that God is teaching me so much during this process of mothering. He is teaching me to put on the same attributes as Jesus: selflessness, servanthood, lovingkindness, gentleness, patience, devotion, goodness, dedication, humbleness, generosity, and a heart to simply love and follow God. I feel him tell me to lay down my life for my family. And that he will supply me with all my needs.
Tonight it is so refreshing to rest in the arms of Christ. To rest in his promises that:
1. Good will come of my efforts! Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
2. God has called me to this ministry and it's not in vain! And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (This includes mothers! Romans 8:28)
3. My children are not called to be intelligent, well mannered, wealthy, or successful in the world's eyes. Those things are not bad, but they are most importantly called to have a heart for Christ. (“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom, or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth,for in these I delight,” Jeremiah 9:23)
Praise God for his goodness, mercy, patience and guidance in this journey of motherhood!